Things you don’t need for grad school

I’ve accumulated a lot of shit over the span of my life, though what’s most relevant right now is all the shit I’ve collected over the last 6 years. While packing for the big move on Saturday, I’ve found a number of things I forgot I had, which means they need to be given away/every last embarrassing trace of them destroyed. Some of them are from my UIS days, and a lot of them are things I saved knowing they would come in handy for programming as a resident advisor/multicultural advocate.

None of them, however, are things I need for graduate school.

Bucket hats are only great if you fish or it is 1997

I don’t really know what occasion I thought this would be useful for

Pat’s Pirates/Pirates of the Cancerbean, represent

This is either the recordings of my assignments from my public speaking class freshman year or the only copy of my illicit sex tape

I’ll admit I kind of had a difficult time parting with this

Good thing I never had to use these because I have no idea how to adjust the headband

To answer the obvious question: no, they don’t taste very good


About Chelsea
I'm currently pursuing my MFA in Writing at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. My ideal career path involves using writing, publication, and writing education to enact progressive social change.

One Response to Things you don’t need for grad school

  1. I could have used your gun recently. There was a big waterfight in Central Park, and I had to keep trekking to the public restroom to fill up water balloons, which turns out to take forever.

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